


Somewhere A Clock is Ticking

by Rambert



Series: The Beginning of the End [1]
Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Library, Angst, Arguing, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Comfort/Angst, Covering Up The Evidence, Dark Magic, Deception, Dialogue Heavy, Domestic Bliss, Doomed Relationship, Doubt, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay For You, Heteronormative royal expectations, Imprisonment, M/M, Men Crying, Mistrust and Doubt, Napping, Not so secret crush, Open Relationships, Parenthood, Pre-Canon, Sarai almost dies giving birth to Ezran, Secrets, Singing, Surprise Kissing, Trust Issues, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Viren gets excited over books like Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Viren had kids to prove a fabricated point to Harrow and this is my headcanon now, Viren is not a good person and perpetuates all sorts of toxicity, Viren’s Dad is creepy, harm to animals (referenced), lying and deceit, this is all just build up for a tragic ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2020-10-03 18:27:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20457488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rambert/pseuds/Rambert
Summary: Alternate title: When Exactly Does Viren Become A Giant Creepazoid?A series of pre-canon Harrow/Viren vignettes in alternating character POVs. Tags are not necessarily in chronological order and chapter warnings are given as needed. Rating really only applies to chapter 3, the rest of it is probably a solid T.This was originally supposed to flow right into my other post-relationship Virrow fic, What Precious Time We Have Left, but it doesn't quite match up right so they're still separate entities even though they deal with similar stuff. (I need to make continuity notes just for myself lol)





	1. Viren falls in love.

**Author's Note:**

> In this first chapter they are all 18ish, or whenever Katolians graduate high school. 
> 
> Title is from the track of the same name by Snow Patrol, a track I think suits canon(ish) Virrow all too well. Much angst rar.

"Viren~"

The boy in question rolled his eyes, glaring up at his friend.

"No, Hagytha, you may _not_ copy my homework again."

"Virennnn, don't be _mean_," Pearls pestered, and Viren heaved an exasperated sigh.

"You still have time to complete the assignments yourselves before class starts! You two need to do your _own_ homework occasionally!"

"And you need to lighten _up_, Viren," Hagytha teased, snatching Viren's notebook away.

"Hey! Give that back!"

"We will... when we're done copyin' it. See you in class," Pearls said over his shoulder, as he and Hagytha ran off laughing.

"Assholes!" Viren called after them, but he didn't chase them like he usually would.

Instead he sat back down on the bench he'd been studying on, pulling out his book again and finding his page.

It was the end of the school year, almost-- they were all going to graduate soon, which was why Viren wasn't militant about his friends cheating any more.

A welcome voice above Viren's shoulder made him smile down at his book.

"I heard shouting. Did the twins take your homework again?"

"Of course they did. They've done it every day this week, why should today be different?"

But Viren's mood had already improved now that Harrow was here.

He knew how dangerous it was for him to be falling for the crown prince.

But Harrow was... there wasn't a proper single word to describe how perfect Harrow was to Viren.

He was like the Sun, and Viren was a seedling struggling up towards him under his glory. He'd been helpless to Harrow's pull since the first day of school when they'd met, almost four years ago now.

"You can't blame them, it's the end of the year," Harrow said, smirking as he sat down next to Viren on the bench.

"Everyone knows you're gonna be the smart one. Hagytha and Pearls are going to be royal guards, they won't need book skills."

"Hmph. Doesn't mean they shouldn't _try_," Viren said, but he smirked back.

"Anyway, did you think over my request?"

"Oh, about those old books?"

Viren had asked Harrow to look for a few specific titles in the palace library.

"Yeah, I found them. When do you want to come meet me to get them?"

"...Anytime," Viren replied, shocked it was that easy.

"Are you sure that's all right?"

"I'm allowed to have friends over to the palace, Viren," Harrow teased, bumping the other boy's shoulder with his own.

"Just so long as I don't get thrown in the dungeon for borrowing a royal book," Viren shot back, grinning.

"How about after class today, then?"

"Perfect."

\--

When Viren arrived shortly before the start of class Hagytha strode over with his friend's notebook and elbowed him in the ribs.

"Hey!" he shout-whispered, as Viren groaned in pain.

"I hear you've got a hot date with the prince tonight."

"Shut _up_," Viren hissed, glaring at his friend and yanking his notebook out of Hagytha's hand.

The elbowing had been annoying, but now he was mad.

"Don't you _dare_ go spreading rumors Hagytha. Do _not_ mess this up for me."

"Oh ho ho!"

Hagytha was giggling, and covered his mouth.

"So you _are_ seeing him tonight."

"We're going to the palace library after class, _that's it_," Viren said, regretting telling Hagytha anything as usual because his friend squealed in delight.

"How _romantic_~"

"Shut _up_ Hagytha!"

"Oh stop being such a wrinkly little raisin, Viren. Everyone knows you've got the hots for Prince Harrow."

"...Everyone?" Viren asked weakly, hoping his mouthy friend was exaggerating.

"Yeah... you're pretty obvious about it. At this point we're all betting on how long it's gonna take Harrow to notice."

Viren was _sure_ his face was red and he hated it. But the prince himself walked in right at that moment, and Hagytha made a big show of pantomiming "locking" his mouth up and throwing away the key.

Harrow luckily didn't notice, watching Viren instead as he came in and sat down.

"You all right Viren? You look a bit flushed like you're overheating."

"Ah, I... I had to run here," Viren lied, attempting to set Hagytha on fire with his mind.

It didn't work.

"Oh, you did? I didn't even see you," Harrow said, blissfully clueless.

But a couple other people in class laughed quietly to themselves.

Maybe Hagytha was right after all and wasn't just teasing... did _everyone_ know but Harrow himself?!

Viren shook his head, hoping class would pass quickly.

\--

When class was dismissed Viren accompanied Prince Harrow to the palace.

He had never set foot in it before and was overwhelmed by the sheer size of everything. Viren had known many people from the orphanage who worked here, who complained about the walking distance from place to place, and now he understood. He'd thought working in the bakery was hard, but... this place was _huge_.

Luckily though the library was one of the closest places to the main entrance, as it was used regularly by the Council and traveling dignitaries.

But even this place was bigger than any other library in Katolis... Viren gasped to see so many books.

"This... this is incredible!"

Harrow beamed at him.

"I knew you'd like it here. You asked for the books and I could have just brought them to you, but, why do that when I could just bring you here any time you like?"

"Seriously? Have I died and gone to heaven?" Viren joked, his eyes wide with wonder as he marveled at the giant bookcases.

"Oh it's not that great. The Duren archives are bigger," Harrow remarked.

"I've never even _been_ to Duren," Viren said, laughing.

"But one day, you should take me there too."

"You got it," Harrow said, leading the way to a particular section.

"Here we are..."

Viren saw the book he wanted before the prince did, grabbing it excitedly.

"Here it is!"

The book was titled _Magical Incantations Vol. I_, and Harrow raised an eyebrow.

"So, Viren, are you really going to do magic with this?"

"That's the goal," Viren said, opening the book and flipping through it excitedly.

"See these runes? That's how you cast spells. You have to speak the word aloud, and then trace the rune, and use a magical sacrifice for the spell to activate."

"Magical sacrifice?"

"Yeah. Like a beetle or a spider or something. See?"

He found a page with an illustration of what he was talking about.

"Ah. Seems... gruesome," Harrow said, being honest-- but he wasn't wrong, and Viren nodded to acknowledge that.

"It can be, yes, but I'm just going to start with the small stuff using little insects. The nasty stuff needs big animals, and I'm no hunter," he joked.

Harrow laughed quietly, sitting down at a nearby table.

"But... what are all these spells _for_?"

"Anything you can think of," Viren replied as he sat next to Harrow, spreading the book open between them to show the prince.

"Alchemy, conjuring, weaponry, field tactics, healing, self-defense... magic can do anything," he said, reverently.

Finally, the tools to unlock his wildest dreams had been given to him, and he was going to learn it all.

"So if you become a mage, then what?" Harrow asked, curious.

"Then I'm a _mage_!" Viren cried, as if the answer was obvious.

Mages were a force to be reckoned with.

Harrow shushed him, but was smiling. Viren stuck his tongue out.

"Okay, I guess that's pretty cool."

"Not just pretty cool, Prince Harrow, magic is... it's everything that Xadia tried to take from us," Viren said, quietly.

"This is our history. Our heritage, you know? Our ancestors died to save these books from being destroyed by the elves."

"Guess I never thought about it like that."

"Yeah, I didn't really either until..."

Viren trailed off, grey eyes going stormy. He'd thought he'd been an orphan, growing up, but when he was seventeen years old he'd been contacted by someone claiming to be his father... someone telling him that he should seek out Dark Magic. His life hadn't been the same since.

The letter had said things about Viren that he had never told anyone... things he'd scarcely even thought to himself lying alone in bed at night.

"That man who sent you the creepy letter?"

Viren had given Harrow a brief, sanitized summary. He hadn't shown the actual letter to anyone.

"Just... be careful, Viren, all right? You don't know yet what all this Dark Magic stuff even is."

"Well that's why I need these books!" Viren said, forcing his voice to remain chipper.

"So now I can learn what all this is about, and decide whether or not the man who sent me that letter is a threat."

"Viren... do you see everything as a potential threat?" Harrow asked, his green eyes piercing as he looked at his friend.

"...I have to," Viren replied, his voice going hollow.

Bitter.

"Someone has to be the pragmatist."

"You sound like an old man already," Harrow teased, and Viren grimaced.

"So? If I'm right, I don't care what I sound like."

Prince Harrow didn't know what it was like, to be alone in the world. He had a family.

"And if you're wrong? If Dark Magic is a waste of your time, or worse, something that backfires and injures you or someone else?"

"Well, then, I'll stop doing it of course," Viren said automatically, not thinking too much about that.

He was not planning on this being a waste of his time.

"Good."

Harrow bumped his shoulder into Viren's for the second time that day, and the aspiring mage couldn't stop a grin from spreading across his face.

"Thank you, Prince Harrow, for bringing me here today... this is literally a dream come true."

"You have bizarre dreams," Harrow teased, but he smiled back warmly, and Viren thought: _I love you_.

It took him by surprise, how easily the thought had come to him... and how much he meant it.

He could never be with the crown prince. Harrow would find another princex to marry, that was how it went.

But here, in the stillness of this beautiful place dedicated to Viren's favorite things, he could dream a little more, couldn't he?

"I guess I do," he replied fondly, chuckling a little.

"But you'll see, Prince Harrow. I'll show you just how amazing Dark Magic can be."

"I'll take that as a challenge, Viren," his friend said.

Viren leafed through the spellbook, trying to hide his growing grin by looking down at it.


	2. Harrow remembers their first kiss(es).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 takes place a year after Chapter 1, so they're all around 19 now. The drinking age in Katolis is low apparently, lol. 
> 
> Viren having a good singing voice when he was young is my headcanon :3  
Also I am terrible at writing old-fashioned songs lol but I tried.

They'd gotten _drunk_ that night.

Hagytha and Pearls had been celebrating their acceptance into the royal guard and had insisted Harrow and Viren join them at the tavern.

Viren wasn't much into the jocky guard crowd's scene now that he spent more time than ever at the palace library reading, and Harrow had teased him relentlessly about sipping slowly at his ale-- everyone else was chugging it-- until he'd gotten testy enough to order everyone shots of the putrid moonshine Farmer Gillis had just sold to the tavern.

"Viren, I was joking, you don't have to go broke buying a round for the whole place," Harrow apologized, but Viren's eyes had glittered strangely as he pressed the glass into his friend's hand.

"Oh ho, Prince Harrow, you think you're getting out of a shot of Gillis's filth simply because you're sorry for goading me? Nope, down the hatch," Viren prompted, holding up his own small glass.

"You underestimate how far Viren will go to soothe his wounded pride," Pearls teased, and Hagytha snorted with laughter as they both raised their glasses.

"You're reaping what you've sown, Prince Harrow."

"Diabolical, you all are. To bad decisions and their consequences," Harrow toasted, lifting his own glass.

They all drank and promptly shuddered at how awful the stuff was, laughing.

And less than an hour and another shot of moonshine later, Viren was _plastered_.

Harrow knew this because when the tavern band showed up and began playing a popular drinking reel, Viren suddenly got up on a table and began to sing _over_ the group's singer (much to said singer's annoyance). The band played on, already drunk themselves and not really caring who was doing the singing. Viren's clear tenor rang out through the tavern:

_Raise your glasses, pretty lasses,_

_Lads, and all those in between._

_For we all seek_

_Thrills and mystique_

_Out there among the hills so green._

_One day outside, me love and I_

_Felt mischief rattling at our bones._

_My shirt was ripped_

_When I was stripped_

_To lay there nude among the stones. _

Harrow grinned, watching Viren belt out the familiar melody, keeping on pitch very well despite his intoxication. He was surprised Viren knew this one, honestly. It was a bawdy song with a lot of filthy verses only played when everyone was already drunk, and some of the tavern was already singing along and clapping.

His friend's cheeks were flushed pink as he sang, making _entirely_ lewd gestures as the lyrics required, much to the entertainment of the royal guard recruits. (The original singer was at the bar by this point.)

_I writhed and danced, the circumstance_

_of ecstasy filling my mind. _

_Each thrust inside _

_Each sinful glide_

_Brought close pleasure I hoped to find!_

Though the tavern was rowdy and it was difficult to hear much of anything over the constant wolf-whistling and raucous laughter and off-key singing of the crowd, at one point Harrow caught Viren looking right at him and could have sworn his friend was singing just to _him_. As if he was singing those raunchy lyrics directly to Harrow and no one else...

Or, he was just reading too much into things because of the ale and moonshine. That seemed likelier.

But now Harrow felt hot all over, suddenly wondering what it would be like to bed Viren. His aspiring mage friend was always so seemingly straight-laced and studious, but like this, drunkenly singing his heart out? He seemed almost... wild.

When the song was over and people were rushing Viren, cheering and shoving him, Harrow ducked outside.

He leaned up against the tavern wall, taking in several deep breaths, exhaling hard on each one. He felt dizzy, but not too much. Mostly he just... needed to gather himself.

The way Viren had _looked_ at him... he must have imagined it. He knew his friend didn't--

"Prince Harrow?"

The prince turned, and looked away in embarrassment when he saw who it was.

"H'lo, Viren."

"Are you all right? If you're sick, we can go home..."

Even wasted, Viren was checking up on him... and Harrow's boldness from drink kicked in at last. He had to know if he was mistaken.

"Viren, you were... looking at me. While you were singing."

The prince finally dragged his gaze up again, and what he found was his friend's flushed face, looking... guilty?

"I... I guess I was," Viren answered, and now he was the one to look at the ground as he leaned hard into the tavern wall, the only giveaway to how drunk he was.

"I'm sorry."

"Are you? I'm not upset, Viren," Harrow ventured, and waited for his friend to look back up at him before continuing.

"Look, I... I know we're both drunk right now but... do you..."

The words were _so close_ to popping out from his mouth but suddenly Harrow couldn't get them past his lips; his tongue wouldn't move and his throat swallowed reflexively, refusing to make sound.

Viren cleared his throat as the prince trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I... think I know what you're asking. Do I... like you?"

Viren waited until Harrow met his gaze before he nodded, slowly.

"I... I do. Like you, Prince Harrow. I have since the day we met." Viren's voice was quiet, but steady despite the drink.

"Really?" Harrow sputtered before he could stop himself.

How could he not have noticed anything, before tonight?

Then the prince realized... this was the first time they'd ever been drunk together before. Perhaps Viren would not be so forthcoming with this information, otherwise.

While Harrow was working this out Viren had apparently interpreted his shock as disgust, already looking hurt and starting to shut down.

"I ah, I know it's inappropriate given you're the prince, I wasn't going to bring it up--"

"What makes you think it's inappropriate?" Harrow interrupted, side-stepping closer and looking at Viren inquisitively, only leaning on the wall with one shoulder now as he faced his friend.

"Just because I'm a prince, doesn't mean I can't be... involved with someone."

Viren was looking well and truly flustered now, clearly not knowing how to interpret any of what Harrow was saying, and Harrow was perhaps enjoying this a _little_ too much-- he'd blame it on the drink.

"I-I... I meant no offense," his friend huffed, taking a step back.

Harrow took a step forward to close the gap. Viren was wide-eyed, watching him like a deer that didn't know whether or not to run.

"It's just that, you know, I'm not qualified to court a royal. You... deserve someone who matches your status."

"Mm, putting me on a pedestal? I'd be flattered if you weren't so very wrong," Harrow teased, but his heartbeat was loud in his ears.

"_You_ don't get to decide who's worthy of me, Viren. _I_ do."

Harrow stepped closer still, until he could smell the moonshine on Viren's breath.

"Harrow..."

Viren looked tense at how close Harrow was standing, but something in his friend's eyes when their gaze met again told the prince everything he needed to know. In the indirect glow through the thick tavern window, his eyes looked like they were laced with gold.

"Viren, if you weren't just singing that song to _me_ and me only, tonight, then I will immediately apologize for all this and we can pretend like it never happened." Harrow's voice was barely above a whisper.

"But if you were... then please kiss me, right now."

He watched Viren's face as his friend seemed to be fighting some kind of internal struggle, a giddy grin threatening to take over his features.

"I... I'm not dreaming, am I? Have I passed out from drink?" Viren finally asked, sounding... dazed.

"Did... you really just invite me to kiss you?"

"Yes, but you're taking too long."

Harrow leaned in before Viren could reply, and despite the sour taste of alcohol the warmth of his friend's mouth was so _sweet_.

He _felt_ as much as heard Viren moan into his mouth; Harrow swallowed the sound, feeling a primal heat stir in the pit of his stomach. He reached up to cup the back of Viren's head with one hand, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened.

Harrow pushed Viren up against the tavern wall and groaned when it brought their bodies flush together. The prince felt a shiver go through Viren, and it sent a thrill down his own spine.

Yes, they were both drunk, but Harrow knew they were both sober enough to really want this... the drink had just loosened their tongues. In multiple ways.

Then wolf-whistles and wheezing laughter interrupted them, and as he pulled back from the kiss Harrow saw Hagytha and Pearls and some of the other guard members strolling out of the tavern, pointing and teasing.

"Looks like Viren got finally got through to you, Prince Harrow, riling you up with that song!"

"And the Gillis swill, don't forget that key component. Viren, you brilliant bastard. I haven't been this drunk in _years_. I'm about to go snog Hagytha me'self."

"Don't tempt me with a good time if y'can't deliver, Scriggins!"

Loud snorts of laughter.

"I called it fellas, now pay up," Pearls demanded, and to Harrow's astonishment money began to exchange hands as they walked down the street towards their homes, crowing into the night.

Was he the _last_ person to realize Viren was into him?!

But he managed a cheery "Goodnight boys, do drink some water before you pass out," before turning back to Viren.

Who looked utterly _humiliated. _

"I-I'm sorry, Harrow," he said, pushing gently at the prince's shoulder.

Harrow stood back, not wanting to stifle Viren-- but when he started to walk away, Harrow reached out to loosely grab his wrist.

"Viren, wait... don't let them ruin this."

Harrow saw the fear in Viren's eyes.

"Why are you so afraid...?"

"I... I don't want to be known for _seducing_ the prince while he was drunk," Viren admitted, looking down at Harrow's hand holding his wrist.

"Well, if the prince doesn't _mind_ being seduced, what's the harm done?"

Harrow let go of Viren's wrist, but stayed close.

"I'm apparently the last person to actually notice you like me," he added, laughing softly, and he saw a ghost of a smile flicker around Viren's face.

"I... thought you knew, and were ignoring me on purpose. I suppose I shouldn't have assumed," Viren said.

"But you're the prince... you could have anyone."

"And who is this 'anyone', hm?" Harrow leaned back against the tavern wall, sighing.

"Where is this mystery person who's supposed to be perfect for me in every way? I have lots of great friends, sure. And I've dated. But... tonight? You singing to me was the first time anyone's ever looked at me like _that_."

Viren's cheeks darkened, and he coughed.

"Well uh. For what it's worth I haven't... sang _to_ anyone like that, before."

"I liked it," Harrow murmured, and when Viren looked up at him the prince smiled slowly.

"Even with how loud it was in there, it felt like it was just you and me."

Harrow saw Viren's adam's apple bob as his friend swallowed hard.

"And now we're alone again," Harrow continued, noticing that he couldn't hear the guard boys, even distantly any more.

"Want to make out some more?"

"...I have _got_ to be dreaming. This is the best dream ever," Viren breathed, but he was already leaning in for another kiss-- Harrow met him half way, not wanting to wait any longer.

When they finally had to break apart for air, Harrow teased "You better not be dreaming this, because if you are then my entire life is your dream."

Viren laughed, the sound coming out more breathless than usual.

"I certainly didn't plan this to happen tonight..."

"Neither did I. But... I'm glad," Harrow said, and he grinned when kissing Viren's jaw made his friend shiver again.

"I enjoy listening to you sing... but next time, let's skip the tavern crowd."

"Fine by me," Viren agreed, finding Harrow's lips with his own once more.

But as they kissed more, grabbing at each other with increasing desperation, Harrow began to feel dizzy in a way that was distinctly _not_ good.

He pulled back, eyes closing as he leaned back against the wall once more.

"What's wrong?" Viren asked, panting-- Harrow cursed his low alcohol tolerance causing his body's betrayal, because dear god he didn't think he'd _ever_ seen his friend look sexier.

"Dizzy," was all he could get out, and now it was Viren's turn to chuckle.

"Yeah... we're pretty wasted. I'm probably gonna feel it soon."

He helped Harrow sit down against the wall, sinking down with him. The prince leaned his head on Viren's shoulder. They'd sat like this before, but... things were very different now.

"I should get us some water," Viren said eventually, but Harrow made no move to get up.

"In a minute," he murmured, scooting closer to Viren; his friend's arms wrapped around him gently like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Harrow."

"Mmm."

"...Thank you."

"What for?"

"...For finally noticing."

Harrow laughed, his eyes still closed.

"I do believe Hagytha and some of the other boys are a bit poorer now, and Pearls is going to be absolutely insufferable to be around for a while."

He felt as much as heard Viren's laugh rumble in his chest.

"Then... perhaps we should keep to ourselves for a bit."

"I like this plan," Harrow said, agreeing.

"Good."

Harrow felt a soft kiss on his forehead, and felt his cheeks heating up. It felt like they had always been like this... how had they ever not?

"I'll be right back," Viren promised, pulling away gently to go get them both water from inside the tavern.

Harrow's eyes opened and he watched his friend go inside, then looked up at the sky. It was a clear night; he could see several stars.

When Viren returned with the water, Harrow knew what he wanted to say as soon as he'd emptied the glass.

"Viren, I know you don't think you're--"

"Harrow, I just wanted to say that--"

They had started speaking at the same time, and both dissolved into laughter.

"You go first."

"No, you."

"Harrow. You're the _prince. _Your words take precedence."

"Viren... that's the thing," Harrow said, sighing.

"You don't get to put me on a pedestal any more. All right? If we're going to do this, and I'd very much like to... then we're going to be equals. Side by side. Not you beneath me."

"But... why? What gives you that right to elevate me to you like that?" Viren asked, not sounding self-pitying but merely... stunned.

"Because hierarchies are bullshit," Harrow said, taking Viren's hand in his own.

"Your birthplace shouldn't define you, Viren, any more than mine does. You're my friend. As long as you take care of me, and I take care of you, we should be at the same level. If we weren't that would be weird. Don't you agree?"

"...Yes," Viren answered, after some hesitation.

"I see the point you're getting at, but... people aren't going to see us this way, Harrow. You know that, right?"

"I know," Harrow said, irritated but not at Viren.

"Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't call me Prince Harrow in front of other people or anything, but... when it's just us, don't put me on a pedestal Viren, just treat me like the person I am. Not someone who rules over you. That's all I ask of you."

"All right, Harrow."

Viren squeezed his hand gently, and a true smile was forming on his friend's face at last.

"...I still almost can't believe this is real but... if it is, this is the best day of my life. I was going to tell you, earlier, that I wanted to tell you how I felt for a long time. Since that night you first took me to the palace library," he said quietly, and Harrow felt something stir in his chest.

The prince leaned in to kiss Viren, soft and slow this time.

"Stay with me tonight," he murmured against Viren's lips.

"I'd like that."


	3. Viren's first spell.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viren finds the first Dark Magic spell he wants to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is now another year after Chapter 2, two years after the start of this series so they're just under 21 years old.

Viren stumbled into the bakery, almost an hour late for yet another shift this week and not having cleaned the library-tome ink and dust off of his hands, face, or robes.

Jeb had his hands on his hips, irritated. He hadn't said much about Viren being chronically late the past few months, but apparently the aspiring mage had worn out the baker's goodwill at last.

"Viren, if you're late again and it's because y'were up in that library and not a legitimate emergency, don't bother showing up for work at all. You _know_ what time your shift starts, it's always the same time. I've had enough o' this and won't be toleratin' it any longer, not when there's other kids askin' me for more hours already. Understand?"

"Y-yes sir," Viren replied, going to wash his hands and getting started on prepping the dough for fresh bread loaves that would be baked just in time for the dinner rush.

He felt guilty-- Jeb had always been a kind and understanding employer, and he'd been taking advantage of that generosity lately.

But he couldn't help that this place crushed the spirit out of him, while being in the library made him feel alive!

And this morning he'd finally found the first incantation he wanted to try performing, and had gotten so caught up in reading about it that he'd lost track of time. After so many hours spent preparing for this moment, learning how to meditate and call the Dark energy of his ancestors to him... he was ready.

It had been just over two years now, since Prince Harrow had first taken him to the palace. He knew all the librarians' names now-- his eagerness and utmost respect for literature and books meant he was already popular with them.

He'd been distinctly _less_ popular with the royal family, due to his relationship with the prince.

Because he was a parentless (and therefore classless) orphan, it was assumed by some in the royal court that Viren was attempting to take advantage of the prince, and well... he wasn't really sure what he could do to convince them.

He _was_ taking advantage of the library; he would never have access to it if not for the Harrow's invitation. But of course that had nothing to do with why he loved the prince... not that someone on the outside would be able to see that right away though.

It wasn't as if he could ask Harrow to snog him in front of his parents as proof this relationship was their son's idea, that Viren wasn't just a desperate orphan trying to steal a prince's glory.

And not even Harrow knew, that Viren had recently made contact with the man who'd written him the letter. His father.

\--

They had met in secret a few weeks ago, just outside the Katolian border to the north in Neolandia. The man had sent him another letter last season asking to meet here on the night of the solstice-- saying he was no longer welcome in Katolis, and that Viren must not tell anyone where he was going for both of their safety.

Viren had been frightened by the letter.

But for whatever reason, from listening to whatever voices spoke into his ear late at night... Viren found himself waiting, shivering from the harsh northern night wind.

Finally he'd seen someone, a man who beckoned him into a cave where a small fire was lit for warmth.

The man had told Viren his name was Tyrian the Third. He had the same storm-grey eyes and hard-set jaw that Viren did; it was like looking into a mirror.

If he'd had doubts that this man was truly his father, seeing Tyrian front of him took those away. Except that this man's skin and hair was ghostly pale, and he had many grey scars that criss-crossed his cheeks. He looked ancient, even though he was scarcely double Viren's age.

Viren still couldn't really think of him as "Father", no matter how hard he'd tried that night and every night since. This man was a mystery to him, even standing three feet away.

Before that first letter three years ago, all he'd gotten from this man had been his name, Viren.

Tyrian had offered little explanation for abandoning Viren at the orphanage, saying it's what was "safest" for Viren as a baby. He'd showed no signs of affection or regret to his son, either. He was cold, and calculating, speaking with equal venom in his voice whether talking about elves or Katolians.

When Tyrian looked Viren in the eyes and spoke of needing to "take back" what was rightfully theirs, Viren was afraid.

But he had told no one, about their meeting.

\--

When Viren's shift at the bakery was over that night, he apologized to Jeb before washing flour off his hands and shaking it out of his robes.

Jeb sighed, grunting out that Viren was still welcome to take any of the day-old loaves as his supper. Viren did, munching on the slightly-stale bread as he walked home.

What he didn't expect was for Prince Harrow to be there, waiting outside the yard gate.

Viren self-consciously wiped breadcrumbs off his chin.

"...Good evening, Prince Harrow, to what do I owe this surprise visit?" he asked, looking around instinctively as he spoke.

They saw each other every weekend and on holidays but for Harrow to stop by like this during the week was rare; he'd never done it so late at night in the year they'd been together.

"No one's around to hear us, Viren, just Harrow will suffice."

His boyfriend pulled him in for a kiss-- Viren would never tire of the flutter he felt inside thinking of the _prince_ as his boyfriend-- and Viren hoped Harrow liked the taste of bakery bread.

He certainly seemed to.

"I missed you today," the prince admitted.

"I missed you too... but now that you're here, Harrow, I'd like to show you something."

They went up to Viren's room, on a floor with four other small bedrooms. All four of the doors were closed, meaning everyone else was sleeping or not wanting to be disturbed. Harrow had been here before, but earlier in the day when the place was rowdier.

The "orphanage" in Katolis was in reality a whole country lane of houses, that way all of the children could have their own rooms as they grew up into adults, and not have to share living spaces with too many other people. Viren's house was full, having eight bedrooms and ten people living here at the moment.

It was difficult to get true privacy with nine roommates. Which is why Viren was so excited about trying this spell.

Sitting on the bed after lighting the lamp, he pulled the book he'd been reading this morning out of his backpack and flipped to the page of the incantation he wanted to try.

"See this, Harrow? This is a soundproofing spell. I just found it this morning in this book about spells that help change an environment to make it more successful for certain types of magic, stuff that's way beyond me still, but... I think just this on its own will be fun to try."

"For what?" Harrow asked, arching an eyebrow.

Viren laughed softly, shaking his head.

"You may never have had trouble finding your own space in that giant castle, but some of us have never really had true privacy. I want to test this out by singing in here and seeing if I wake up any of my siblings."

Now Harrow was interested, and he laughed too.

"Ah, I see! So this is the first spell you're _ever_ trying? Should I be worried about you suddenly exploding, or something?"

"Hmph. I've spent two _years_ preparing for this," Viren protested, but he grabbed Harrow's hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

"But because you're here, I'm happy to answer any questions first to put your mind at ease. This isn't a dangerous spell, but I understand if the concept itself is... strange."

"Putting it delicately as always, as if to make it more palatable even to yourself," Harrow replied quietly, making a face as he looked down at their hands.

"I like you a lot, you know that right? But... I don't like this Dark Magic stuff you're into lately. What I've read in those books, the ones you say you'll never use but have read all through and practically memorized anyway? I... I don't like them, Viren."

Viren knew what Harrow was referencing, and if he was honest he understood why his boyfriend would sound unsure about all this.

There was... unspeakable power, linked to unspeakable horrors in those books.

Power that Viren never even knew _existed_.

Power that required blood. That required _pain_.

Power that would be immediate, and binding, and harness the very essence of life itself. That could undo or _create_ life itself.

Power that was undeniable, undefeatable. Power that could bring down any elf... even a dragon.

Power that would assert humanity over Xadia once and for all.

That was how Tyrian had put it, and the words ricocheted around in Viren's mind, sounding more and more comforting. Right.

But he couldn't tell the prince any of those thoughts, and Viren forced a smile.

"Harrow... do you really think I'm going to become some sort of violent Dark Mage? That I'm going to use this to kill people?"

"I... no, of course not," Harrow answered, but Viren noted the hesitation.

"You think I could be tempted by it once I start doing it," he pressed on.

"...Yes," Harrow admitted at last, and Viren sighed.

"What can I do, to convince you otherwise? Name it Harrow and I will do it."

"I cannot always name you to do the right thing, Viren. You too must know it for yourself," the prince murmured.

The aspiring mage sighed. His boyfriend was too perceptive for Viren's liking sometimes.

"But you know what I _mean_, Harrow... I'm basically asking your permission here, to do this spell. What will it take to convince you that me trying a little spell that only kills this one tiny spider, won't turn me into a vicious cult leader people-murdering Dark Mage?"

Harrow rolled his eyes.

"When you put it like _that_ it sounds utterly ridiculous you could even do the spell properly at all," the prince huffed, but Viren knew that was his way of being sarcastic by now and he smiled genuinely for the first time since seeing Harrow tonight.

"All right then. Allow me to prove you wrong."

Viren took the spider carcass out of its vial, tipping it into his hand. He crushed it as he spoke the words of the incantation that he'd been repeating to himself the whole way home, and suddenly the room went purple around him and he saw Harrow gasp in shock.

"V-Viren, your eyes--!"

Viren signed the final rune and felt a wave pass suddenly through his body, shockingly similar to a too-brief orgasm but without the draining effect. He felt like he'd been lit up, switched _on_.

It felt _good_.

He was panting for breath, and he felt Harrow's hand on his shoulder. At some point he must have closed his eyes, and now he struggled to open them, blinking.

"Did... did it work?"

"I don't know," Harrow said, looking worried.

"Viren your eyes went _purple _then all black--"

"I-I have to test if it works," Viren said, ignoring the prince.

He took in a deep breath and began to sing in a too-loud, brazen tenor,

_Oh Katolis is a mighty kingdom_

_With orchards sweet and maidens fair_

_From low valleys to Mount Kalik's peak--_

"Viren! We need to talk about what just happened!"

Harrow's voice was notched up with anxiety like Viren had never heard before, and he stopped singing, feeling a little guilty.

"So my eyes went purple and black for a bit, that's normal. Spellcasting has some temporary physical effects on the body."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Well it did say something about glowing eyes in the first incantation book, yes," Viren said, thinking back.

"It did mention that you have to meditate longer beforehand depending on the spell level, but this is a basic one so I didn't know if it would apply. Apparently it does, so, sorry for not mentioning it beforehand and scaring you."

"..."

Viren knew Harrow had wanted to say "you didn't scare me" but he clearly had, so he took his boyfriend's hand, gently.

"Call me anything you want. Yell it out," he offered, and after a moment a smirk played about Harrow's lips.

"Anything? You sure you're up for this Viren?"

"Anything."

"...ASSHOLE!" Harrow yelled, grinning.

Viren laughed, knowing the word had no real malice behind it.

"VIREN YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!" Harrow yelled again, laughing less than halfway through the sentence.

Viren just crowed with laughter in response.

"AND YOU SMELL LIKE BREAD!"

"TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW, HARROW!"

More laughter.

After a few moments they fell quiet and waited with baited breath for a response from Viren's neighboring siblings... but heard nothing. Viren giggled.

"I think it worked. Try something else!"

"I DON'T LIKE DARK MAGIC!" Harrow shouted, laughing as the success of the spell became apparent.

"IT'S CREEPY! VIREN IS CREEPY FOR USING IT!"

"Aww, what's the matter Harrow? You think I'm going to lock you in my soundproofed room with me or something?" Viren teased, but Harrow just stuck his tongue out.

So Viren decided to kiss him. He was still riding high from the adrenaline of the spell, feeling exhilarated like he'd just had an amazing masturbation session even though he hadn't even really cum. That spell had been... _intense_.

But Harrow pulled away after a few moments, laughing breathlessly.

"Oh no, you don't get these princely goods so quickly Viren... you promised me singing, and I am here for a _concert_."

"Oh I see how it is, I'm just your free entertainment for the evening," Viren quipped, but he blushed with pride as he stood up and cleared his throat, launching into one of his favorite ballads.

_Reeds rattlin' oe'r creek waters that_

_ne'er ran as green as your hazel eyes. _

_The setting sun turns all to gold_

_As you do, love, when you walk this earth._

_I am just a mere wand'rer who_

_has stumbled onto the path of love; _

_This life of mine is life divine_

_now that I have you to share it with._

He half expected Harrow to stop him after only a few verses, it was so sappy and trite on the surface. But... Viren found himself putting an unexpected amount of meaning into it... as he sang he got a little softer. Less bouncy and performative for the spectacle of being loud, and more truly into it.

Harrow was watching him with a keen expression, his green eyes swallowing Viren whole.

Just before the last lines, Viren's breath caught for a moment.

_My love for you will flow through time_

_as ceaselessly as the river. _

He was finished, heart hammering in his ribs from the singing.

"...So it really did work, didn't it," Harrow murmured, knocking on the wall behind him without breaking eye contact with Viren.

"They can't hear a thing can they..."

"Nope, not for the next three hours or so," Viren said, licking his lips. Suddenly, with the way Harrow was looking at him, Viren realized what _else_ they could use this soundproofing spell for.

His boyfriend had clearly arrived at the same conclusion because a moment later Harrow's mouth was on his, and he was being pulled back onto the bed. He went, willingly.

As they made out, kissing all over each other's jaws and throats, they relished being able to be loud like they never had before, here. Viren especially was feeling... _powerful_. Here, in his meager house, they were able to let go the way they could in Harrow's private quarters at the palace. Because of what _he'd_ done. Because of _his_ knowledge. _His_ power.

Viren decided he wanted to make Harrow cry out very loudly tonight, and the easiest way to do that? Well, suck the prince's cock, of course. He whispered his desire into Harrow's ear and was rewarded with a needy groan, a nod, and a harsh exhale.

He was already well-acquainted with Harrow's cock and he wasted no time being idle, laving over it in just the way he knew the prince loved.

Within minutes Prince Harrow was writhing on the bed, making desperately lewd noises and moaning Viren's name.

Viren felt like he was on top of Mount Kalik. Like he was on top of the _world_.

When Harrow came in his mouth with a _loud_ noise, Viren shivered with pleasure as he swallowed it down.

Then Harrow returned the favor, and Viren cried out the prince's name louder than he ever had before when he finally came too a few minutes later.

As they lay there catching their breath, Viren couldn't help but laugh.

"You know, they didn't mention any of these possible uses for the spell in the book. I'm going to have to take this approach with everything apparently, and find out what it can be used for other than its recommended purpose."

"I must say, I... really enjoyed this spell. We could even use this at the palace," Harrow said, still too blissed-out from the sex to go back to being wary of Dark Magic just yet.

"Then we wouldn't even have to try at all to be quiet."

"Liked that, did you? I'm glad," Viren said, beckoning Harrow down into the bed with him.

In the quiet of his room, he could pretend this is all they ever would be.

He knew in the back of his mind, that Harrow was courting young royalty from other kingdoms, but none of it had gone well-- mutually, from what he'd been told, although he realized Harrow might not tell him the full truth and he could understand that. There were secrets he hadn't been able to tell Harrow, either, despite loving him more than anyone else in his life right now.

But still... he knew the King and Queen of Katolis expected their son to marry someone from another kingdom to form an alliance. To send a message to Xadia that they were stronger than ever.

Harrow had said he wouldn't, that he would bring them around to the idea of being with Viren but... the aspiring mage knew that his future with the crown prince was doomed. It had been from the start.

However, if he could become High Mage, and get on the royal court... then he'd always be by the king's side. Through whatever other life the king would have... Viren wouldn't ask for much.

He couldn't talk about these things with Harrow. Not yet. They'd been together a year, yes, but they were still too young. Harrow was not yet King nor was he going to be for quite a while, if his father's health held up which it was appearing to.

He didn't want to seem like he was planning Harrow's life out for him, but... Viren just knew. He knew that he would only ever love this one man, no matter what it took to be by him.

His lover's voice interrupted his inner monologue.

"Viren."

"Yes, Harrow?"

"...Promise me you'll be careful with Dark Magic."

"I promise, Harrow." The words came easily. Why wouldn't he be careful?

He ignored the thoughts that lurked just below the surface of his carefully-controlled facade. The one he used to convince himself first, more than anyone else.

Luckily he'd sounded sincere enough, and he watched Harrow's face soften in relief.

"Can you promise me something too?" Viren asked, waiting until the prince nodded to continue.

"Promise me you trust me, Harrow."

"I trust you, Viren," came the unhesitant reply, and Viren felt his heart swell fit to bursting in his chest.

"Then believe me when I say, I will only use Dark Magic for good. If I ever don't, and somehow argue against it, then you'll know it's corrupting me and will have to put me down."

He'd meant it as a joke, but Harrow suddenly looked like he might cry, and turned away from Viren as he blinked rapidly.

"Harrow, I... please, it's bothering me how likely you think I am to... to somehow become a monster because of this."

"Viren." Harrow's voice was strained.

"Viren I _saw_ that book you promised me was 'too advanced' for you, and those _pictures_ are _monstrous_."

Viren nearly shivered. Harrow was right, after all.

...He had to tell his lover the truth. Or else Harrow would stop trusting him, and it would drive them apart.

Viren felt sick at the thought and he grasped at something to tell Harrow instead of talking about the gnawing voice inside of him that called him to look at those monstrous pages again and again. Just because the dead bodies were elves and dragons rather than humans, didn't make them any less gruesome. He knew that.

And yet...

"Harrow, I... I met... my father. The man who wrote me the letter."

The still moments that followed seemed to drag for aeons.

"Where?" Harrow asked, his voice hoarse. "When?"

"Just across the border, in Neolandia."

And just like that, the soundproofing spell was finally being used for its original intent-- to keep an important conversation unheard by others.

"He told me that learning Dark Magic is my right by birth," Viren murmured.

"Harrow, he... he knows things about me that I've never told anyone. He said he's been watching me, with the magical connection we have from our ancestry. H-he asked me not to tell you any of this," he trailed off, afraid.

Harrow's grip on him had tightened to become almost painful.

"...So why are you telling me this, then?"

"Because... because I love you, Harrow," Viren admitted.

Telling this truth was easier than attempting to lie to his boyfriend when he was clearly upset. 

"And I don't... want to give you any reason not to trust me. I just... he's my _father_. I have to see what this is all about," he said, knowing he sounded desperate. "Wouldn't you do the same if you were me...?"

"...I guess I would," Harrow answered, after a few moments considering.

Viren wasn't that upset that Harrow hadn't said "I love you" back... he imagined how hard this must be, for the prince.

Because obviously even if he _did_ love Viren, the likelihood they could remain together was slim. So perhaps it would be easier to just not admit to it at all.

"But, Viren... how can you trust him? He's your father, but he left you alone for your entire life up until three years ago and now you're going off his word about all this? I..."

Harrow sounded close to tears again and Viren reached up, touching the prince's cheek.

"Thank you for being concerned about me," he said softly, letting Harrow hear every bit of his affection in the words and not holding anything back.

"But I didn't tell you to make you worry, I just want to be open and honest with you about what I'm doing. He's going to start teaching me Dark Magic and I'm going to find out more about who he is. And I'll keep you updated on every part of the process."

"...Promise?"

The prince sounded very vulnerable, as he leaned into Viren's touch.

"I promise. I'll even teach you, if you like..."

"No... that's all right. I don't want to be a part of this magic stuff, Viren. But... I will trust you. I just want you to be safe," Harrow said, leaning his forehead against Viren's.

"I don't want to lose you to this Dark Magic."

"You won't ever lose me, Harrow... I'll be by your side always, no matter what."

Finally, he felt his boyfriend relax against him as Harrow let out a breath he'd been holding.

"Thank you."

Viren kissed Harrow's forehead, feeling happiness settling over him like a blanket.

He was in love, and he was learning magic.

How could life possibly get any better than this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I rushed through smut to get back to more angst. I'm utter trash. Pls forgive. X3
> 
> I've got a few more of these planned out roughly in my head and it's gonna be a downward spiral 8D


	4. The morning after the Harvest Festival rehearsal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for referenced harm to animals (not TOO graphic)
> 
> This part takes place just over 2 years after Chapter 3, which means the boys are all around 23 now.
> 
> i started watching the new Netflix Dark Crystal show and got offended at how aggressively heterosexually British it is and so I wrote this instead of finishing it ugh 
> 
> oh and, in the interest of transparency there's not going to be any more smut in this fic lol. cuz I'm a party pooper

"Hagytha? Pearls? To what do I owe such an early morning visit at the palace, hm?"

Harrow was still rubbing sleep out of his eyes when he came out to see his friends in the courtyard, draped in his robes in lieu of making them wait while he bathed and dressed.

"We need t'talk to you. Now," Pearls said, sounding afraid.

Harrow still wasn't entirely sure he wasn't being pranked by these two, though... it wouldn't be the first time.

"Now Pearls. Just give me _one_ reason to believe that you're not trying to get me dunked, again?"

"...It's Viren," Hagytha cut in, eyes darting around nervously as if he half-expected the other young man to materialize in front of them.

"Harrow, h-he's out of control. That Dark Magic--"

"Shut _up_!" Pearls hissed angrily, and looked at their friend imploringly.

"Prince Harrow we _need_ to talk t'you now, someplace safe. It's not safe here."

"A-all right, come with me then," Harrow stuttered, ushering them upstairs past the guards and into his room.

And his stomach was starting to sink as he wondered just what kind of horrors had happened for them to be saying Viren's name like he was some sort of...

Some sort of monster.

When they were all seated on his bed, cross-legged and facing one another, finally Harrow spoke.

"Okay, you two. If this isn't a prank, I need to know everything you saw, from the beginning."

"Well... you know the Harvest Festival is coming up," Pearls started.

"And Viren kept blabbin' to everyone about how he was going to show us all just what his Dark Magic can do, right? So we're figurin' he's fixin' to grow a giant pumpkin, or bake a giant cake, or summat.

He told us he'd show up at the rehearsal yesterday to set up his tent, but he didn't, and no one saw him on the way there or had seen him all day, for that matter. So's after we were all done last night we decided to check up on him, just Hagytha and me. And... when we got there..."

Pearls's voice faltered, and Hagytha put a hand on his brother's arm.

"Pearls saw him first," he explained to the prince, his voice quiet.

"Harrow, I dunno how to say this, but... Viren... he's gone. Whoever that was in his house is... i-is someone else. His face, it's... it's the face of a corpse. Skin all grey and cracked, his hair completely white. Looks like a real zombie, cept his voice is the same... and he..."

"H-Harrow he had a-animals in _cages_ ," Pearls interrupted, his voice nearly a sob.

"S-some of them had patches o'fur missin', or whole _paws_ missin'..."

Harrow took a deep breath, feeling his stomach roiling.

He knew now it had been a mistake to trust Viren with this Dark Magic.

He had been such a fool...

A year and a half ago, Viren had lost his job at the bakery. With no small amount of shame, he had begged Harrow to help him get work at the palace, and the prince had gotten the librarians to hire him which Viren had been exceedingly grateful for.

However, as this was one of the cushiest and most coveted jobs in the palace that others had been far more qualified for, Viren was now unpopular (to say the least) amongst his fellow orphans. They saw this as a power move, as Viren abusing his relationship with the prince to assert his higher status over them.

He was kicked out of his house and not approved for another room in a different one, and Harrow had again taken pity on his boyfriend and bought him a small farmhouse on the other side of the kingdom-- the owner had recently died and had no next of kin, so it had been empty for a few weeks while offers were being made. Harrow gave quite generously from his own purse for Viren.

Which apparently had been a huge mistake, given that Viren was now using his newly gained privacy for unspeakable acts.

Viren had claimed to be "too busy" to see him this week, and Harrow had feared something was wrong because usually his boyfriend didn't want to go more than a day or two without contact... but innately, the prince was a trusting person. And he _wanted_ to be right in having nothing to fear from his boyfriend, whom he had grown to be very fond of.

But this... this had always been the thing that would undo them, and they had both known it. And Viren had chosen it anyway.

Suddenly Harrow had to see it for himself.

"Give me a few minutes to change, and I'll be ready to go."

"Go where? I'm not going back to that fucking house," Pearls spat, looking paler than usual.

"We can at least walk up to the gate with him," Hagytha reassured.

"For moral support."

"...Fine. To the gate. But I'm not setting foot in that fucking house again."

\--

When they arrived, Hagytha was the first one to notice --

"It doesn't smell like that awful fire, any more. That sulphur stench, it was everywhere last night."

"Y'dont think he... just cleaned up the whole place in the time it took us to get here, do you?" Pearls asked dubiously, but Harrow was already passing the gate and striding up to the house.

"Wouldn't put it past him, the sneaky bastard, I knew we shouldn't have waited til first light," Hagytha muttered, before leaving Pearls behind the gate and following the prince up to the front door.

As captain of the king's guard, he also swore an oath to protect the prince under any circumstance... but at the same time he understood Pearls's fear, right now.  
Last night, this place had looked like something out of the depths of Hell. Now, it seemed like a sleepy farmhouse again.

What had _happened_?

Prince Harrow knocked, and Viren's voice came from within, sounding like he'd just woken up.

"Coming..."

Shuffling footsteps approached the door and when Viren opened it he looked tired-- _very_ tired-- but otherwise... completely normal.

Hagytha gaped at his friend, feeling unease slide through his gut as his eyes told his brain very conflicting information from what they'd received last night.

"V-Viren! How did you... y-your face!" he spluttered, unable to articulate further.

Harrow's eyes narrowed as he watched Viren's face for a reaction, for an emotion of guilt, or fear... but there was none. Only confusion.

"Wh...? Is something on my face?" he muttered, rubbing over it.

"What are you two doing here so early? I haven't even milked the cow yet," he gestured, indicating the mooing coming from the barn.

"You... you didn't come to Harvest Festival rehearsal last night," Hagytha said indignantly, finally finding his voice again.

"And when Pearls and I came to check up on you... y-you... it... this place was..."

"You were here last night? I don't see how that's possible," Viren said, sounding for all the world like he had a terrible headache-- and he clutched his head, as if to emphasize that.

"I told Ms. Huckle" (his neighbor to the west, towards town) "to pass on the news that I wouldn't be able to attend rehearsal yesterday, as I was ill and went to bed very early... sorry that the news wasn't received," he added, sighing.

"She may not have felt well enough to go out herself, the poor old dear. Come in, come in... I'll put on some tea and make you breakfast, to apologize properly."

Viren tottered back inside, going to the kitchen to fill the tea kettle. The prince followed.

"Oy! You're going _inside_?" Pearls called, and Hagytha just gave his brother a helpless look as he followed Harrow, who hadn't spoken a single word yet.

The crown prince was watching Viren's every move intently, watching for any sign of a facade, of a lie.

He could find none. And Hagytha grudgingly confirmed that Ms. Huckle also hadn't made it to rehearsal. They'd gone to her house just before Viren's, last night. She'd been ill all day and hadn't been out of the house.

But too well Harrow also knew Viren was capable of believable lies, by this point, lies that only he knew the truth about.

Like the real reason he was late the final time and lost his job... he hadn't been in the library, which is what the baker Jeb and others had assumed.

No, he had cast another soundproofing spell in his room so that Harrow could fuck his brains out, and the prince had forgotten the time.

But he could have sworn that Viren was aware of the time, and chose to seduce Harrow anyway.

Or the fact that no one else but Harrow knew that Viren was no longer an orphan.

When the prince found out his boyfriend had applied for another orphan house, at first he had been angry.

"When will you tell them, Viren? When will you stop keeping your father a secret from all of us except me?"

"You wouldn't understand, Harrow. He's my only family! It's not safe for him in Katolis."

"But why can't you tell me? Soundproof the room again if you have to."

"I can't, Harrow. If I told you, then you'd tell the King and Queen. I know you would."

Harrow had been contemplating searching Viren's house by force, trying to find the letter that had started all of this.

Today might be that chance.

\--

The conversation over tea and toast was... awkward. Not in the least because Viren was the only one who actually drank any tea and ate any toast.

And Pearls had remained stoically outside (Viren had been mildly confused, but let it go, perhaps too easily) and Hagytha kept startling violently at every tiny noise or disturbance in the house, prompting Viren to ask him what was wrong.

"What's _wrong_? Oh, you're fuckin' going to Hell for this one, Viren. I know what I saw last night. Just because you were able to fix it, doesn't mean I believe your snaketongue now."

"Hagytha, please... look around! Surely if my entire place was stinking of sulphur and full of half-mutilated animals as you claim, they would be evidence of that somewhere around here... search the entire grounds if you must," Viren said grumpily, finally seeming annoyed at the accusations now that he was more alert.

"I don't know what you want from me."

"What I _want_ is the _truth_," Hagytha hissed, closing the gap between them and grabbing Viren by the collar.

"You're _lying_ to me Viren and if you ever cared about me as a friend you'll stop."

"H-Hagytha please, I don't know what you're talking about," Viren said, sounding sincere.

He shot Harrow a desperate look.

"Aren't you going to say _anything_ today, Harrow? You're l-looking at me like you believe all this!"

"Because I do." The crown prince finally spoke, his voice low and upset.

"We're going to search the grounds," he announced to Hagytha, standing up and striding out leaving his tea and food untouched.

\--

Viren was out in the barn, milking the cow. Hagytha was digging a hole in the backyard, looking for buried animal bodies. Pearls was patrolling, refusing to go looking for "any o'those horrors from last night".

Now was the prince's chance.

Harrow went back into the house, going into Viren's room.

He took a few seconds to look around. There really wasn't much in here, just a bed on the floor and a tiny dresser and an oil lamp, and a few books. Harrow checked those first, and was rewarded to find the letter tucked carefully between the pages of one of them.

He opened it and began to read, mouth dropping open in horror as he did.

But before he'd even finished it, suddenly the ink began to smear where he was touching the paper even though it had been dry when he'd first unfolded it.

The page began to swirl, obscuring everything in a smear of illegible ink.

And that was when Harrow knew Hagytha and Pearls had been telling the truth.

Tucking the letter back into the book with a frown, the prince put it back on the dresser and left Viren's room.

"Let's go, Hagytha," he announced to his friend, clapping him on the shoulder a bit harder than was necessary.

"Oof. Okay, Prince Harrow, but what did you find? I don't see anything."

"I'll tell you later. But I believe you, and it's time for us to get out of here before he knows I know."

"Right."

\--

When Harrow got back to the palace, he requested his bath water _extra_ hot and shivered when he lowered himself into the scalding water. But it wasn't enough.

How, _how_ could he have ever trusted Viren? How could he ever have listened to that... madness?

Viren had been choosing his mysterious father over everyone else, and oh that _hurt_ to finally know. That Viren _had_ been interested in all the atrocities Dark Magic had to offer, and was lying about not wanting to do it.

He had just told Harrow everything the prince had wanted to hear, so that Harrow would be gullible enough to leave Viren to his terrible devices.

Well, no longer.

As soon as Harrow was dressed, he went down to the courtyard to deliver a message by carrier pidgeon to the Kingdom Manager Saul, who kept track of who lived where.

He informed Saul that Viren would no longer be living in the farm house, and that starting today it was eligible to be on the market for a new buyer. Any price. And Viren could come see him at the palace when it was sold, if he hadn't already found a new place to live.

Saul took the prince's breezy tone to mean that Viren was already in the know about things and didn't question it; by the end of the week he informed Harrow that there was a buyer interested, and the prince arranged for the proceeds to go to the orphanage houses so they could renovate or pool their resources to acquire new property as they chose.

Viren hadn't even attempted to see him at the palace since their run-in that fateful morning several days ago. Harrow didn't know what disgusted him more-- that Viren's love of Dark Magic was an addiction, or that he'd unwittingly enabled it for years now.

Three days after that, once the property had been paid for and the old property the family was moving out of was sold, Viren showed up at the palace with a knapsack full of books, frustrated and demanding to know what had happened.

"You're going to be living here with me, now, Viren," Harrow said, leading him to some guest rooms, and Viren looked furious.

"So _you_ did this? You sold my house without even _telling_ me?"

"You've done _unspeakable_ things without telling me," Harrow hissed, his eyes flashing dangerously.

For once, Viren was cowed, asking only "Then... why even bother letting me live here, if I'm so bad?"

"Because you're going to give up Dark Magic. Starting right now." Harrow's gaze was hard, and Viren glowered.

"You can't make me give up my birthright! My father--"

"Your _father_ is the reason we're _in_ this mess," Harrow countered, gritting his teeth.

"Your _father_ is an _abomination._"

"You _take that back!_"

"No."

Harrow glared at the young man he had started to fall in love with and saw that he didn't even recognize the mage glaring back at him any more.

"Fine. Have it your way. Jerk me around like your little puppet, Harrow, but know this-- when I am of age to not be considered an orphan of the state you'll regret putting me on a leash."

Viren was only three years away from that age, Harrow would know this.

"Why should I continue to consider you an orphan of the state for three more years?" Harrow replied nastily, and Viren frowned.

"Because according to Katolian records my father is _dead_," he spat, and Harrow blanched.

"You're lying."

"Check for your fucking self," Viren said, suddenly sounding more exhausted than anything as he dropped his knapsack onto the floor.

"But I can tell you, I've already looked. It's true."

"...So then..."

"He was declared an enemy of the state and fled rather than be executed, but the government lied to put the people at ease."

"There it is. There it fucking is," Harrow growled, finally giving in to his anger.

"You really let your _murderous father_ allow you to think you are _entitled_ to fulfill some kind of bloodlust? Viren have you gone _mad_? I can't believe I almost-- that I _loved_ you!"

Finally, some emotion flickered across Viren's face. Hurt. Betrayal.

"You don't... love me any more, Harrow?"

"Viren, I never once said I _did_. If you assumed, that was your error," the crown prince said, feeling wretched but wanting to drive distance between them.

It was the only way he could get through to Viren, to leverage this against Dark Magic and hope that Viren would choose him.

"What I _have_ told you before is that I never wanted to lose you to Dark Magic... yet here we are. So you can decide, Viren. Do you love me, or Dark Magic? If you decide to show that you love me then maybe I'll actually consider returning it. Until then, we are friends and nothing more."

Viren's face twisted into something ugly.

"You can't just make me choose between the love of my life and the thing that gives my life purpose."

"So mutilating animals is your _purpose_?" Harrow hissed, nostrils flaring in anger.

"Whether or not you manage to repair our relationship Viren, as long as you reside in the five kingdoms you are hereby _forbidden_ to use Dark Magic _ever again_. If I have to throw you in the dungeons temporarily to prove this point I _will_, do _not_ test me."

"Fuck you."

"Excuse me?!"

"I said, fuck you," Viren said again, low and nasty.

"You told me once that as long as we took care of each other, that we'd always be equal. Well, here you go asserting your authority over me at last. You were just waiting for a chance."

"Are you _serious_ Viren?"

Harrow was indignant in his rage, hands balling into fists.

"Our _best friends_ are so frightened of you that they only dared accompany to protect me. To protect me _from you_, Viren! Don't you get it? Don't you fucking _get_ it now?"

"Get what?!" Viren snarled, and Harrow took a step back, faltering.

"Get what Harrow? That I'm a monster? An abomination? Is that what you want me to say? Well if that's what claiming my birthright is, then that's what I am to you!"

"...I can't believe this is really happening," Harrow said at last, the fight leaving him.

"You... I don't recognize you. I don't think I have for a long time."

Viren paused, at that, seeing the sadness in the prince's eyes.

"So what are you saying, Harrow?"

"I'm saying... ...that you should start calling me Prince Harrow, now."

Pain laced his voice, but Harrow forced it to be hard and not to tremble.

"You have not... taken care of me, Viren. You used me, to get yourself power you had no right to pursue. Because it was my help that allowed you to... traverse this path, it is partially my responsibility to help you heal from it. Hence why you are here, and not being interrogated and judged by the Council.

...I found the letter, Viren," Harrow finished, feeling validated in the worst way to see Viren's face finally fall.

"...Ah. So you know, then, why what you've done to me has hurt me so deeply."

"I do, in fact. It is you who has always lacked the ability to see anyone's hurt but your own." The crown prince's voice was nearly a whisper, his chest aching with every breath.

"Do not attempt to speak to me like it is you who are suffering. I am being infinitely generous by keeping your abominable secret and allowing you to live here as my guest. Do _not_ abuse my family and staff's hospitality. _Do you understand me_?"

"Yes Daddy, talk to me like I'm a child," Viren said viciously, crossing his arms.

"Fuck off, Harrow."

"That's _Prince_ Harrow to you, or you'll get the dungeons."

"Fine. Better than these painfully-decorated sadsack rooms anyway."

"That's it. _Guards!_" Harrow yelled, and Viren was put in shackles despite vehement protests.

He wanted this to be difficult? Oh, it could be _difficult_.

But after Viren was taken away, Harrow found tears rolling down his cheeks.

_Goddamn you, Viren. Why did you make me do this to you? Why has Dark Magic consumed you so? _

_I just wanted to love you. But contrary to what you claim..._

_You never loved me most. Always second to... this. _

_I cannot abide that, Viren. I cannot. _


	5. The Harvest Festival, three years later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said no more smut but sad steamy kissing? Definitely on brand for this fic.

"...I heard about Hagytha and Pearls. ...I'm sorry."

News traveled fast, so even though Viren had only been free from the dungeons a few hours he'd already been informed that he was the cause of the Royal Guard members' sudden departure from the kingdom.

It was... surreal to think about a Harvest Festival happening without Hagytha and Pearls, yet it was, all around them as they sat on hay bales sipping hot mulled wine.

The celebration was somehow even bigger than usual as if to soften the blow of their leaving the night before it all opened. There hadn't been an official announcement yet; the royal guard was speaking with their family, devising a search plan.

"Are you, Viren? Are you actually sorry? I can't really tell with you these days. You may have been able to convince my father of your changed ways, but I'm not impressed."

"Even after three years of keeping me in the dungeon?" Viren asked, his voice hollow.

He felt the anger in his ex-lover's words when the crown prince spoke.

"Yes Viren, _even after_ three years. Because you never once have apologized properly to Hagytha and Pearls and now look-- you've driven them away the day of your release. Whatever they saw that night, it traumatized them for life. And you _still_ won't acknowledge what really happened, not even to me."

"Because it's none of your business," Viren growled, grey eyes flashing as his own ire rose.

"I've given up Dark Magic for _three years_. I haven't had contact with my father. Haven't had much contact with _anyone _ locked up in one of your _posh_ cells. What more do you want from me, Mighty Prince Harrow? Do you just want to enjoy watching me suffer?"

"Oh yeah, because I'm going to pity someone who thinks that being given three meals a day and held away from magic that requires bloodshed is _suffering_."

Viren realized that smug note in Harrow's voice, and he huffed, wishing he hadn't used that particular word. Now the prince believed he had the upper hand. Even if he did, Viren would never admit it.

But it wasn't worth it to argue over his pride. He fixed Prince Harrow with an insistent look.

"I was going to wait until after the Festival to tell you, but since you still don't believe me that I've given up Dark Magic for good..."

He'd been waiting years for this moment, and he didn't really appreciate them being surrounded by screaming Katolians running away from a costumed "monster", but. He had to take this opportunity to demonstrate that Dark Magic hadn't consumed his life... even though he was fairly sure by now that it had.

But Viren had not admitted that, even to himself.

"I have a son now."

"What?!"

The shock on the Prince's face would have been funny, if there hadn't also been hurt there visible just beneath.

The first month he was in the dungeons, Viren found out there was another person down there with him in the next cell over. A young woman that he'd known distantly since their school days, serving time for petty theft from a jewel merchant.

They got to talking, and Agatha (that was her name) confessed to Viren that she desperately wanted a baby but had been unable to find a good candidate for a father. Viren could read, and write. She said she'd do _anything_ if Viren could help her.

Viren asked for them to be put in the same cell, for company's sake. The request went all the way up to Prince Harrow, who he'd imagined had been surprised, but-- it was approved.

And seeing an opportunity and deciding to take it, Viren gave Agatha what she had asked for.

"Yes, seems Agatha and I hit it off sharing a cell," he said, deadpan.

"Her baby boy Soren? That's my boy too. Conceived just a few months before her release last year."

"But... why?" Harrow spluttered out.

Viren's mouth tightened into a hard half-smile.

"You're the one who thinks I'm still obsessed with Dark Magic above all else, my Prince," he said calmly.

Here was the part where he had to be extra convincing.

"But I assure you, I'm interested above all else in the health and livelihood of my child-- children, probably, I believe Agatha and I will have at least one more God willing. So if the offer to live at the castle still exists, we will gladly take you up on it as Agatha is currently sharing a small room with two other people in a crowded tenament house. It's no place for a baby."

"But you-- we--"

"Harrow, please, don't be so narrow-minded," Viren said sharply.

"Just because I was with you for a while doesn't mean I'm incapable of having heterosexual sex. Don't be ridiculous."

But privately, he was elated to see the Prince was seeming to look just a little... _jealous_.

So he hadn't known or assumed, then, granting that company request after all... Viren was enjoying this too much, under all the grief of knowing that he'd had the love of his life and lost him. The bitter taste of revenge was all he had left.

"That's _Prince_ Harrow," came the correction back, just as sharp, and Viren sighed.

"Yes, Your Majesty. Now if you don't mind, I'm out of mulled wine and would like to take my remaining shillings to get pissed drunk."

"Hmph. Great father figure you're being, eh Viren?"

"Agatha stayed home tonight, she's going to bring Soren to the festival tomorrow morning while I'm sleeping off my hangover. Don't worry your pretty little head about me, Prince Harrow."

"Watch your language, Viren. We _aren't_ familiar any more," the Prince scoffed, and Viren smiled back at him over his shoulder.

"Of _course_ not, Prince Harrow, I haven't forgotten the last three years in the dungeons so quickly now. My apologies," he added blithely, sauntering away.

And though it was impossible to tell over the low din of the crowd around them, Viren could have sworn he heard the prince curse at his exit. He smirked to himself, glad to get the Prince's goat at last after so long imprisoned.

But as he got drunk on the second mug of wine-- three years sober had really affected his alcohol tolerance-- Viren started to regret being so mean to Harrow right away.

Even being imprisoned for three years didn't stop him from loving the man, dammit.

And now he was out, and... he could have opportunities again, if he was... kinder. If he appeared to be yearning for the past, before all this Dark Magic stuff started.

So when they bumped into each other washing their hands after the toilet area, it was Viren who spoke first.

"H-- Prince Harrow I'm... I'm sorry for how I was acting earlier."

"You are?"

Harrow sounded unconvinced.

Viren dried his hands with one of the towels provided-- grimacing because it was already almost soaking wet itself-- and led the way back out to the main festival area.

"Yes, and this isn't just the mulled wine talking. Although, three years sober in the dungeons means I'm pretty sloshed at the moment. But I'm sorry for saying that you made me suffer. I deserved it, all of it."

In his drunkenness, it was easier to sound genuinely contrite. It was so much easier for Viren to focus on how it had felt to get caught doing Dark Magic, and to be forced to give it up, rather than why he'd started in the first place.

"Mm."

They'd wandered over to a quieter area with no other people, and still Viren could barely hear the response.

Harrow's arms were folded in front of him, the Prince hunched in what Viren well knew was his unconscious protective stance. He was still upset.

"...I don't love Agatha," he admitted, watching Harrow's face carefully for a reaction but getting none.

"But I did want children, same as she did. We want to raise a family, Prince Harrow. And since I... damaged things irreparably between us, I figured a willing participant was as good a place as any to start on my quest to not die alone."

"Just stop, Viren," the Prince said thickly, turning away-- was he crying?

"Stop telling me about your desire to build a perfect life with someone else."

His voice was shaking, he was definitely crying. Viren swallowed awkwardly.

"...Prince H--"

"God d-dammit Viren. Leave me alone."

"I've upset you... I apologize. I was only telling you about Soren because I need you to know that I-- that I've moved on from Dark Magic."

"Are you sure about that Viren?" the Prince choked out.

"Are you sure that you've moved on from Dark Magic, and not just from me?"

Viren heard the raw pain in those words and he knew that the Prince was also drunk.

"...Again, you doubt my devotion after three _years_ imprisonment. Give me some credit please, Prince Harrow. How could I truly move on, from the love of my life?" he asked softly. 

"I... have accepted why you ended things between us, but I have not moved on from you, certainly not."

It was easy to say this particular truth, with the mulled wine loosing his lips. Much easier than others. Viren waited until the prince turned around to raise his gaze to Harrow's.

What he saw there made his heart skip several beats. For the first time in more than three years, Harrow was looking at him like...

Like he wanted to kiss him.

"Promise me," the Prince demanded, and Viren swallowed hard.

Was this really happening?

"I promise I'm done with Dark Magic. Forever." The words tumbled from his lips in such a rush that Harrow's eyes narrowed in suspicion, and Viren cursed internally.

"No. Don't say it because you want me, Viren. Say it because you _mean it_."

Viren swallowed again, clearing his throat before starting over.

"Prince Harrow, please believe me when I say this. My baby boy is everything to me. I would love for you to come meet him as soon as you like, and to be a part of his life. I want to do right by him. I'm done with Dark Magic, forever. I promise you, Harrow, and I-- sorry, my Prince," he corrected, falling silent with eyes downcast.

Harrow took the bait.

"Go ahead, Viren, what were you going to finish up with there?"

He raised his gaze back to the prince's face.

"I still love you, Harrow. You're the only one I'll ever love with my whole heart. You might not want my love any more but... I can't make it go away."

The ache in his words was real... but he only hoped Harrow couldn't tell that it wasn't _only_ the Prince he ached for.

Harrow stared at him for several long moments before opening his mouth to speak. Viren saw the tear tracks catching the last rays of sunlight on his cheeks.

"God damn you to hell, Viren. Why did you make me choose you over Hagytha and Pearls?"

"What do you mean? You could have sent me away inst--mmph!"

Viren had started to think things were turning sour, but suddenly Harrow's wine-soaked lips were on his and the warmth was _amazing_.

He hadn't been kissed like this in so long. His brief couplings with Agatha had been a rather tedious affair, something to grit his teeth and bear it through.

But now, drunk and back in the strong arms he didn't think he'd ever feel again? This was pleasure he hadn't felt in over three years.

Viren moaned, clutching at Harrow's tunic, desperate for more. The prince's hand slid roughly around the back of his neck, deepening the kiss, and goosebumps erupted all down Viren's spine.

He felt like a teenager again with how quickly he got hard; he hadn't so much as touched himself in months. And unless Harrow was keeping an eggplant in his trousers, he was pretty sure the prince was hard too.

He was regretting his decision to get drunk intensely, however, because all of a sudden he was feeling... not so great.

"Sorry, just-- need some air," he panted, feeling dizzy as he staggered over to the nearest tree to lean on.

Harrow followed closely, letting out a low breathless chuckle.

"Just like the first time," the prince remarked, and Viren struggled to remember only for a moment before managing a smirk in between burps.

"Ugh... getting drunk was a terrible idea."

"I told you," Harrow teased.

"No you didn't, you called me a bad father."

"...I did, didn't I. Well, I'm sorry for that."

Harrow shifted his weight, pausing before continuing.

"But... I meant what I said. About feeling like keeping you here drove Hagytha and Pearls away. They were my _best friends_, Viren."

"You say that like I wasn't one of their friends," Viren said in a wounded tone, letting his own feelings about the situation show for the first time.

"I miss them too, you know."

Even though everyone knew that Viren and the twins had never been on as close of terms as they had been with Harrow. And Viren had never quite forgiven them for always taking his homework in school... he wasn't exactly heartbroken over them leaving.

But he couldn't let Harrow know that, either. The list of secrets just kept growing, and Viren didn't know how to stop it.

"And anyways, for better or worse you've made your choice now. Are you telling me you regret it, Harrow?" he asked boldly, leaving out the title on purpose this time.

Harrow noticed.

"Don't get too comfortable, Viren, you're still on thin ice with me."

"You didn't answer my question."

The prince scoffed.

"Would I be kissing you in some random corner of the Harvest Festival, if I regretted it?"

"Mm, you make an excellent point," Viren admitted, leaning in close again.

The queasiness had passed, for the moment, and he was going to take advantage of it.

This time the kiss was chaste, just a gentle pressing of lips. Viren leaned his forehead against the prince's.

"I love you, Harrow."

"I love you too, Viren."

And all of a sudden Viren forgot all his ulterior motives and found that he was weeping.

Harrow had finally said the words that Viren had hopefully assumed for years, but had never heard spoken aloud.

The sweetness of this made the hell of the past three years all worth it.

He was back on track now to get everything he had, and more. He deserved it.

He fucking deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. This has been the hardest to write of all my TDP stuff for some reason, probably because I'm attempting to make it canon compliant sort of if you squint ugh. 
> 
> Anywho thanks for reading if you've gotten this far. I do like this one quite a bit, it's just taken a lot more effort than anticipated. Feedback on this is soooo craved if you're up for it, especially on whether or not the plot flows well and if Harrow's character seems accurate. I feel like he's just far too forgiving ultimately and he really did love Viren despite what he said :(


	6. Duren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrow makes good on his childhood promise to take Viren to Duren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out a LOT softer than I intended but trust that Viren is being a manipulative bastard here no matter what Harrow is charmed into thinking. I initially wanted to write Viren's POV during this as well but I ran out of time to write it all out so this was faster while still conveying what's happening. Sorry to rush it out like this before Nov. 1st but I hope it still reads decently! In a perfect world, I'd come back to this series and revise it one day. We'll see what happens.

"Daddy, spin me again!" Claudia begged, and Viren only pretended to grumble in protest before obliging her. Her delighted squeals bounced around the room, and Prince Harrow couldn't help but smile.

He had to admit, watching the man play with his three-year-old daughter, that Viren seemed to have finally changed for the better. They'd been together now for almost five years without a major hitch between them. Their anniversary was in four days, and the Prince had a special getaway to Duren planned.

Sometimes Harrow had to pinch himself because it all just seemed... too perfect. Agatha had been more than willing to share her husband with the Prince, especially in exchange for them all being able to live at the castle rent-free.

And Viren had taken to parenthood far better than Harrow would have ever assumed, being almost infinitely patient with his young children and teaching them mathematics and reading vocabulary with flash cards. The babies had bonded with Harrow too, and he treated them like they were his own, giving them everything they could possibly want.

Everything was perfect... right?

But some nights laying awake in bed listening to Viren's snores, Harrow still wasn't sure.

Some nights, Viren's stormy grey eyes were faraway even when they were kissing, and his lover didn't sing any more. Not once since they'd gotten back together, despite the prince's gentle encouragements that he'd like it if Viren would.

But Harrow reminded himself that he'd been... rather hard on Viren as of late, and had been trying to loosen his grip.

Still, he just couldn't shake the fear that as soon as he was lax enough that Viren would go back to Dark Magic. So Harrow still had their quarters searched regularly (Agatha knew but Viren didn't), and Viren still had to have all his parcels checked going in or out of the castle.

He even kept tabs on Viren at his new job, as well; he wasn't allowed to return to the palace library for obvious reasons, but Viren ended up becoming a cartographer's assistant drawing up local maps, using his calligraphy and writing skills and also learning more about mapmaking in the process.

That's why Harrow had planned to take him along at last to Duren, fulfilling the promise he'd made to Viren as a teenager, because Viren would also have work opportunities there while the prince had his diplomatic meetings. And he'd made sure to ask Vinny the mapmaker extensively about whom Viren would be speaking with there, verifying the contact names.

The prince hadn't forgotten that Viren's eyes had been as big as saucers as a teenager hearing about the Duren archives, where all the oldest human texts were kept under lock and key and constant guard supervision. He knew that if there was ever a time for Viren's resolve to crack that this would be it.

And he was _not_ going to let that happen.

"All right sweetheart," Viren said, puffing a little from being out of breath.

"That's enough, Daddy's tired."

"Aww!" Claudia pouted, turning hopefully to Harrow instead.

"Will you spin me, Uncle Harrow?"

And Harrow did; the glee in Claudia's giggles as they spun around momentarily distracting him from his worries.

\--

A few hours later, after dinner and more play time, they said goodnight to the children and helped Agatha put them to bed. Then she helped them load up their trip luggage onto the prince's carriage out in the courtyard.

Everyone in the kingdom knew about their unusual relationship by now, but Agatha didn't mind being the talk of the town. Sometimes, to the prince, it seemed like she reveled in it.

"Safe travels, you two lovebirds," she called after them after they'd bid her farewell.

"Don't you get lost now!"

Prince Harrow had been too flustered with last-minute travel arranging and kingdom matters to get any rest in before they left, now he felt exhaustion weighing him down and his eyes drooped closed.

Viren, who was steering the carriage, smiled fondly at him as he reached over to pat Harrow's knee.

"You can sleep if you like, I'll take first shift through the night."

"Just make sure you don't end up in Neolandia."

It was a joke, for they had a guard escort coming with them on horseback who knew the way well. But in Harrow's tiredness it came out a bit more biting than intended, and Viren stared at him in the swinging lantern-light as they bounced along down the road.

"...Harrow... do you really think I'm going to-- hijack this trip into something selfish? Is that why you kept asking Vinny about where I was going?"

"Please, Viren, I don't want to argue. I'm sorry for making a bad joke, I'm very tired."

"...Hn. You're lucky I love you so much and that I pity you when you're sleep-deprived like this."

"Thank you, Viren, I love you too."

But Harrow hadn't denied his reasoning for getting info out of Vinny, and Viren seemed to notice that lack of response. Harrow _was_ exhausted though, and he dropped off to sleep before he could clear the air any further.

\--

Three long days of traveling later, they'd made it to Duren at last.

Of course Harrow was partial to Katolis as his homeland, but, the kingdom of Duren was a marvel to behold.

The mountainous capital city was breathtaking, and the large marketplace was bustling with activity when they arrived in the late morning. Unfortunately nobody in their party was in any mood to appreciate it, since they'd all been traveling at a brisk pace for days. They promptly found the main inn for travelers, stabling their horses and checking in to their rooms to rest.

They joined up for dinner when it was dark, the tavern raucous to see new out-of-towners, and the prince among them at that. Drinks kept being pressed into Harrow's and Viren's hands despite their polite protests, and soon enough both of them were sloshed.

The thickness of the hot air inside the tavern began to be too much, and the prince needed a breath of fresh air.

Harrow leaned against the wall outside, closing his eyes as he caught his breath and fought down the wave of dizziness that had been rising in the closeness of the tavern. He felt better already now that he was breathing in the cool night breeze.

"Well isn't this a nostalgic sight," he heard Viren slur, and chuckled as he opened one eye.

"I'm surprised you can even remember it given your current state. You're embarrassing me," he said, not meaning it at all, and Viren would know that from his fond tone.

"Hmph. Am not. Just having a good time, 's all. I can't believe you really took me to Duren," Viren said, looking pleasantly shocked.

Harrow didn't know whether or not to be offended by that, so he settled for sticking his tongue out at Viren.

"I keep my word to those I love, Viren," he said, seriously, and searched the other man's face.

"Can you say the same to me?"

"Of course I can," Viren said back smoothly, thinking he was being clever.

Harrow waited a few moments, then sighed.

"So... are you going to say it then, or just say that you have the ability to do so?"

"What is this, some kind of test? When I give you my word, Harrow, I meannit," Viren said, draining the rest of his stout that he'd brought out with him.

The prince watched him, feeling his stomach twist unpleasantly.

"Maybe you'd better ease up and switch to water, hm?"

"I'm fine," Viren insisted, waving a hand dismissively and nearly dropping his empty tankard.

"So do you believe me, Harrow? That I keep my word?"

"..." Harrow hadn't been expecting him to turn the question on him like that, and honestly he didn't want to lie.

So he hesitated. And Viren got mad, almost frighteningly quickly.

"I knew it! I knew you interrogated Vinny because you don't trust me, _still_!"

"Viren, I--"

"No. _No_ ! Harrow, you do _not_ get to harbor this much doubt about me after all I've sacrificed for you! After five _years_!"

"When you put it that way, Viren, you make it sound like being with me is something you don't even want to do any more."

"Wh-- I--"

Spluttering in rage, Viren took a step back.

"...You know what? No. I'm just... I'm going to bed," Viren said, "And if you want to come to bed with me then fine. But if you don't, then _fine_. I don't care any more. I'm sick of havin' to _prove_ how much I've changed for you, Harrow, I'm _sickofit_."

He threw his tankard in some random direction and stalked off, not even going back inside to say goodnight to anyone. The prince felt guilt press down in his stomach like a stone.

And yet, Harrow couldn't help feeling like he was still right. That Viren was being this defensive because... because he _was_ keeping something. Lately, he felt like Agatha had been covering for Viren during the searches to their quarters, but he didn't have any definitive proof...

It was times like this he truly missed Hagytha and Pearls. But his friends were gone, elusive to all his attempts to contact them over the years, and the memories of their youth faded more every day.

\--

In the morning, a hungover Viren had apologized to him. Rather overzealously, in Harrow's opinion, but it seemed genuine enough.

He'd also gotten Harrow a bouquet of sunflowers from the market, and had sang him a short but tender song, and the prince let his desire for comfort and peace in this relationship win out yet again.

Harrow had tears in his eyes when his lover was finished.

"Thank you Viren. I was... wondering if I'd ever get to hear you sing again."

Something flickered across Viren's face, and he looked pained for a moment before hitching his smile back up.

"I have reason to sing again, Harrow. I behaved... so childishly, last night, and you still managed to find it in your heart to forgive me. I am... incredibly humbled, by your grace."

"...Happy Anniversary, Viren," Harrow whispered, taking Viren's hand tightly in his own.

Viren squeezed back.

"Happy Anniversary, my prince."

\--

The next five days in Duren passed in a blur-- due to being so busy, the prince scarcely had any time alone with Viren to actually enjoy their anniversary, but they made do with what little they had. And not having kids to worry about was nice for a change as well.

He had still confirmed with Vinny's contacts where Viren was, but when Viren noticed Harrow showing up at the places he was supposed to be to check in on him he merely smiled and kissed the prince, instead of getting mad.

To Harrow it was _almost_ suspicious, but the prince was so desperate to be happy and stay happy, so he took things at face value.

On their last day, they had nothing planned except preparing to depart for the long journey back.

Viren woke up early, and nuzzled Harrow's neck until he woke also.

The prince was tired from a late party last night with traveling dignitaries, which Viren had attended with him.

"Nnn... how are you not hungover? You had more to drink than me," the prince groaned.

"Found a potion merchant yesterday before the party. Got another on the bedside if you want it," Viren said, indicating with a lazy wave of his hand.

Harrow took the offered potion and drank it immediately. It was surprisingly spicy, but tasted like it was chock full of things that were very good for him. Laying back down and sighing, he closed his eyes again. The faint nausea went away in minutes along with the ringing in his ears and the pounding headache.

"Ah... that's _much_ better."

"Isn't it? If I didn't know how to make this particular remedy myself, I'd be suspicious that Dark Magic was involved."

It was the first time he'd even spoken the words in over a year, and Harrow rolled over to look at him.

"What, are you mad? I'm telling you I'm glad it's _not_ Dark Magic!" Viren protested, exasperated.

"It's just valerian root, willow, feverfew and a lot of ginger for flavor, mixed with some coriander for extra nutrients to replenish. Standard hangover potion, this one's just got very fresh top-notch ingredients so it works very quickly."

"...So you don't think Dark Magic could improve on this, then?" Harrow asked slowly, searching Viren's face.

"No, how could it? That would be a waste. This works every time, for everyone, so long as there isn't an underlying condition going on. How could the natural remedy be surpassed by something as twisted as Dark Magic? It would only butcher the process needed to heal in the first place."

"..."

Harrow had never heard his lover talk about Dark Magic so... disdainfully. Not even when he'd sworn to give it up.

And the prince realized his eyes were tearing up.

"Viren, I'm sorry," he said thickly, one tear escaping with a splash down onto his cheek.

"I'm sorry I've still harbored doubts about you wanting to return to Dark Magic. I love you, and your children. I'm so happy to be here with you and I'm proud of the man you've become these past five years. Please, forgive me my weakness."

"Shh..."

Viren brushed his thumb almost impossibly gently across Harrow's cheek, wiping the tear track away.

"You are many things, prince Harrow, but weak has never been one of them. You had every reason to doubt me for my past, but... I want you to be my future," Viren breathed, leaning in to kiss Harrow softly once, twice.

"I want to be by your side, always, through everything. I love you too."

Their lips met again and they didn't speak for a long while, after that.

\--

Harrow woke up in the afternoon to Viren stroking his hair.

"Come now, my prince, we must get some food for the road and depart soon..."

"Mmh... how long did I sleep? Are we packed?"

"Yes, you were sleeping so deeply this morning after we..."

Viren chuckled.

"I didn't want to wake you. So I got all our luggage packed. We're all ready to go as soon as you're up and alert."

"All right," Harrow said through a yawn, stretching.

He flushed a little, remembering what he and Viren had been doing that had led to him passing out for a nap...

It had been _good_. Like, possibly the best they'd ever had, good. Harrow didn't usually get so comatose after sex but he hadn't been able to help it. Plus they hadn't gotten a ton of sleep on this visit, due to being so busy, and now he felt well rested and relaxed.

Which was fortunate considering they had a long journey home.

The prince caught Viren's hand before he could walk away, and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Thank you for making this a trip to remember."

Viren smiled, his eyes twinkling like Harrow hadn't seen in years.

"No, my prince, thank _you_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to end this chapter on a positive note so it's still Virrow for now -- the next (and possibly final) chapter will have Sarai in it and will already have skipped to them having an established relationship. Sorry, it was never my intent to have canon divergence in this one :P 
> 
> if anyone is still reading this one, thank you and please drop a comment letting me know what you think <3


	7. The Last Resort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has now skipped forward three years from where we were in Chapter 6.

The birth had been... difficult.

Lady Sarai had been healthy all through her pregnancy up until the final week before the long-anticipated birth, when she began experiencing severe abdominal pain that wasn't from the baby moving.

After several hours of her crying out in agony, the physicians finally realized she was suffering from appendicitis and did an emergency appendectomy-- but the blood loss and stress of the operation had induced labor early and she had nearly died on the table that night, Prince Harrow looking on in grim horror.

Somehow, the baby was fully healthy despite being two weeks early, a miracle. But Sarai looked awful, and Harrow was feeling hysterical as the physicians escorted him out, saying that they needed quiet in the room to focus on monitoring her breathing.

He found himself down in the dungeons before he even knew where his legs were taking him, sick to his stomach with a cold clammy sweat on his palms and upper lip.

"...Prince Harrow."

Viren's voice was a raspy whisper.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit? It's been quite a long time since you've been here," he added, trailing off into a dry cough.

"I'll get you some water," Harrow said automatically and Viren hocked and spat, or tried to but nothing actually came out of his mouth.

Returning a few minutes later with the water, after Viren had reluctantly drank some, his eyes narrowed as he looked up at the prince.

"Sarai not doing well, is she?"

"..How did you-- you know what, I don't care. Yes, Viren, you're right, and I need your help."

Viren tried to laugh, but it came out as a croak.

"Oh that's rich, Prince Harrow. You really think you get to boss me around when I'm in your dungeon? _Again_?"

"You will when you hear my offer," Harrow growled, losing his patience.

"Don't think I wouldn't come to you if it wasn't something worth your while? Take a _wild_ guess what this might be about."

"...No."

Viren's voice was so quiet that if they hadn't been standing so close on either side of the cell bars, he would have thought no response had been uttered.

"I'm not playing your games, Harrow."

Viren retreated back into the shadows, and Harrow stamped his foot in desperate frustration.

"Viren! You have literally _never_ stuck around when I needed you most, and now I'm-- I'm offering you a chance to do the thing that you've wanted all along, more than me."

"...You can't be serious," came Viren's voice from the shadows.

"Oh I am. I wish I wasn't and that this was some sort of terrible dream, but... no such luck."

It was too creepy replying to shadows, and the prince went to fetch a lamp.

When he came back with it he regretted doing so instantly. The light caught the eager gleam in Viren's eye.

\--

That was the same look he'd had right before they left Duren. Right after he'd given Harrow that potion and knocked him out after sex, and then snuck into the Archives to steal from them.

When they'd returned to Katolis, Agatha and the children had been at the front gates to greet them. Little Claudia and Soren had run forward, each tumbling across the castle lawn to be the first to hug Viren upon his return. And Viren had hugged each of them multiple times before finally coming back to the castle, where his things were searched as was the custom.

The glow from the sex had been too good... Harrow still hadn't seen it. Hadn't wanted to see it.

But then the next morning, he had decided to surprise Viren with breakfast in bed. He got up early and prepared a tray himself in the kitchens, then arrived at the door to Viren's quarters and knocked.

Soren answered, the seven-year-old looking fidgety and nervous.

"Oh hi Uncle Harrow. D'you know where my Dad is? I have to give him... something."

"Can I come in for a moment, Soren?" Harrow asked, mindful of the guard presence in the hallway. Soren nodded, looking relieved.

"Yeah. Claudia's sleeping, I just woke up and couldn't find Dad."

"All right," the prince said, trying not to panic as he set the breakfast tray down, inviting Soren to sit with him at the table.

"Soren, what is it that you were going to give your dad? Can you show it to me?"

"Dad said... not to," Soren said, but looked incredibly guilty.

"Soren, you're scared to disappoint your dad and I understand," Harrow said gently, "But I need you to tell me the truth please."

After a few moments' hesitation, Soren finally reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded up page of what looked like ancient paper, handing it over to the prince. Even just from being in the child's pocket it was starting to crumble, but Harrow unfolded it and gasped when he saw a violent illustration followed by what looked like some kind of potent healing spell. Or perhaps immortality? The images were not super clear.

"Soren... where did you get this?" he asked slowly, and Soren fidgeted nervously.

"Uh... Dad gave it to me."

"What...?"

Harrow's hands clenched around the paper so much so that he was damaging it, he stopped himself only just in time before the shaking would have ripped it in two.

The prince put it down on the table between them.

"He said to... to keep them safe until we got back inside the castle, and I did, but I forgot to give him one... please don't tell him, Uncle Harrow," Soren said, and the fear in the child's eyes ripped Harrow's heart in two.

"Soren, my precious nephew... you know that I will be here for you through anything, yes?"

He waited for Soren to nod before continuing, "I love you, and your sister, and your Daddy very much. But... your Daddy is doing... something terrible, and I have to stop him. Do you trust me to protect you...?"

Soren nodded again, starting to cry.

"U-Uncle Harrow I'm s-scared."

The crown prince gathered his nephew close, holding him and rocking him gently and whispering words of encouragement that everything would be all right... even though he was scared too. And this time, he knew that his worst fears had been right all along.

\--

All the memories surged painfully in Harrow's chest, knocking the breath from him as he stood in front of Viren's cell. Less than 48 hours after his return from Duren Viren had been imprisoned again, this time indefinitely. And the court actually convicted and sentenced him this time, because there was finally proof of his crime.

But... the crown prince wasn't thinking very rationally right now.

His mother had succumbed to illness and died last year, just a few months after his marriage to Sarai, and his father was not doing great health-wise either. He couldn't lose Sarai too, not so soon after she had entered his life. Harrow couldn't raise this child on his own.

And it was this desperation surging through his veins that made him unlock Viren's cell door with shaking hands, swinging it open.

"I need you to save my wife," Harrow begged, not even able to feel vindicated that he was now finally hurting his ex-lover the way Viren had hurt him-- by starting a family without him.

"Sarai almost bled out last night and she's still not doing well. I think she's dying but the healers won't be honest with me."

"Very well, Prince Harrow, I will assist you. Only out of pity for your newborn child," Viren added coldly, but he brushed himself off and stood up, following the crown prince out of the dungeons.

"I would thank you, but given how much you're going to enjoy this I'm going to call us even," Harrow replied, trying to be nasty back but mostly failing.

He was too upset.

Viren sighed. "I'm not going to _enjoy_ being responsible for your wife's life when I haven't been able to practice for years."

Harrow couldn't hold back his bitter laugh.

"Oh come on now Viren. You mean to tell me that all this time you _really_ gave up Dark Magic? That Agatha hasn't been in on it the entire time?"

Viren frowned, and Harrow felt vindicated in laughing again.

"Exactly. So I'm trusting you with Sarai's life here-- don't make my trust be in vain, please."

"I know you're using scathing humor to cope with the crushing fear of losing your life partner but don't push it," Viren muttered as they walked through the castle.

"All right, we need to stop by my place and the library first for the supplies and then we'll go to Sarai."

\--

Hours later Sarai was peacefully asleep, breathing without a gurgling rattle, and Viren's eyes were still black from performing several incantations in a row. Harrow was extremely unnerved by it, and mentioned it as soon as he and Viren were outside Sarai's chamber.

"Viren, your eyes--"

"Prince Harrow, I've already told you that's an expected side effect," Viren snapped, on edge now from focusing so hard for so long after so much time out of practice.

It was a wonder he was able to read that healing spell at all given how much Harrow had damaged the page before the librarians got ahold of it to preserve it as evidence for the court.

"It doesn't... hurt you, does it?" Harrow asked, not taking Viren's acerbic attitude personally. Sarai was going to make it-- he really could kiss Viren.

Even if part of him wondered if he'd sacrificed a part of his soul, to tempt fate and selfishly save Sarai when it was possibly her time to die. Did he believe in Fate? He wasn't sure.

"No, it doesn't hurt. ...I'm fine."

Viren was still bristly, but he took a deep breath and said "Thank you, Prince Harrow."

"...You really mean it?"

"Yes, I... I know I'm a bit burned-out at the moment but... I felt like I was doing what I was meant to do," Viren said, looking up at Harrow reverently with eyes that had at last changed back to their natural color.

"You finally allowed me to show you that Dark Magic can do good things too. That... sometimes the sacrifices are worth it."

"I hope you're right, Viren," the prince murmured, patting Viren's arm companionably.

He loved Sarai now, but... he wasn't sure the wounds Viren had made on his heart would ever heal.

"Obviously, your imprisonment will be appealed, and you may return to your quarters with your family if you wish. If you wish to move out of the castle though given everything that's happened, I would be more than happy to set you up in the city. Or a farm if you'd rather."

"That's... quite generous of you," Viren said, not meeting Harrow's gaze.

"But our quarters here will be more than sufficient, thank you. ...Goodnight, Prince Harrow."

"Goodnight, Viren."

Harrow went back into Sarai's room, and after an hour of stroking her hair gently and watching the color return to her face, he went and found Ezran with the wet nurse to say goodnight to them too. Finally, everything seemed to be calming down from the panic.

Looking down into Ezran's little sleeping face, Harrow hoped that this had been the right decision.

_I chose Dark Magic, to save my family... I hope I won't regret this. I hope I won't regret trusting you with this, Viren._

The stars were bright tonight, under the light of the full moon that spilled into the nursery chamber. Harrow rocked his newborn son, then went back to Sarai's room and sat with her until dawn.

In the morning Sarai woke up. She had been nearly comatose for almost three full days, and now she was stirring right before Harrow's tired, bloodshot eyes.

"Nnn... Harrow, what are you doing fully clothed in bed? You silly..."

And the prince began to weep from relief, holding his wife close and pressing wet kisses to whatever part of her he could reach. Then he ran to fetch their baby, who they proceeded to coo over for the entire rest of the day.

He didn't have time for regret when she was back with him again, and they had their beautiful baby.

Yet down in the dungeons, Viren was already setting up a work space to assuage his newfound... appetite. And he had decided to dub himself High Mage of Katolis, and would be informing the prince of his title when he saw him next.

Harrow's soft spot had always been Viren, and it would be his downfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ran out of time to give this story the attention to detail that it deserved but thanks so much for reading if you've gotten this far! I had a lot of fun writing it to explain a few things in my own headcanon :d
> 
> I may revise the entire thing a little to expand on certain parts (such as me just realizing I never mention Viren's staff LOL OOPS), and I'm now continuing to fill the gap between flashbacks and the present canon timeline with the sequel to this, Whatever It Takes. Check it out! :D


End file.
